OVERWHELMED...

in EVERY good way possible; in fact, I LOVE it. I clearly had NO idea what I was getting myself into when I released pur[SHOE]ing joy late Monday night. Between the fireworks and loud bomb noises of Guatemala, I tossed and turned all night so finally around 6 AM I just decided it was time to rise and shine. My plan was to stay in bed to check my email. Keyword: "plan". All I knew to do was cry tears of JOY, jump out of bed and give God the glory. I have to say, NEVER in my life have I had a feeling even similar to yesterday's. Both my personal email and the pur[SHOE]ing joy email were blowing up. By that I mean I had emails from best friends, family, role models, companies, teachers, pastors, people I didn't know knew I even existed, people from multiple states, and the most surprising, people that I have never met in my life. If this explains anything, I couldn't go the hospital to work yesterday for trying to get my head back above sea level. In between responses, I literally found myself looking up and just laughing at what God was doing and at one point, I promise you I jumped up and started screaming and dancing. I tell y'all that not to boast about myself but to give y'all more proof of the kinda God we serve. The kinda God that takes your biggest dreams and makes them an even BIGGER reality. The kinda God that uses encouraging people like y'all to make this all happen. That's our King, y'all!

Oh and listen to this. I had a meeting yesterday with Annie (angel-friend I met at church) and a lady that she wanted me to tell about pur[SHOE]ing joy. As I was walking up to meet her, I noticed that she was carrying a plastic bag with two wooden stick hang out. You would love to know that she JUST SO HAPPENED to be in the process of making a foot measuring tool. Why? Because she started a ministry years ago that feeds 600 kids and they JUST SO HAPPEN to all need shoes. 600 KIDS NEED SHOES! That's our King! 

I have really been worrying but praying about the fact that I cannot do the Guatemalan side of this movement alone. We had our first pur[SHOE]ing joy "business" meeting last night with old friends, new friends and great friends that are on board. Ty, Lee and Will are driving a cool hippie van from home to Guatemala. They will drive to the various villages to deliver the shoes. We plan to start delivering the shoes in February! That's our King! 
 
Y'all are bursting at the seams to help and donate and containing my excitement is just not an option anymore! It is the best kinda problem to have. So let me explain where we are right now and what you can be doing. I am currently finalizing the little details because again, I HAD NO IDEA that this would literally boom overnight. Little details like where our drop-off locations will be, pick-up dates, getting posters printed, etc. SO as of right now, y'all can start getting your shoes together and even bag them up. Include your name and an encouraging note to the child that will receive your shoes. Just to give y'all a rough idea, I will be home right before Christmas and will start picking up the shoes from each location.

The specifics:
What kind of shoes? durable athletic shoes with closed toe and back, but any will be appreciated.

What sizes are most needed? (men are happy to wear a women's shoe here and vice versa.)
       -any size for babies, children and youth
       -no bigger than 7 for female adults
       -no bigger than 9 for male adults

Do they have to be new shoes? NO

When? roughly before December 21st (first pick-up)

Gender specific? NO

Do I have to pay for shipping? NO

What is in it for you? Well there is a lot.
    1. JOYaus.blogspot.com will feature YOU, the giver as well as the shoes and the child that you brought JOY to that day. You can choose to have your name exposed or not.
    2. A hand-woven Guatemalan bracelet that was handmade by the village.
    3. A never-ending, overwhelming feeling that YOU put shoes on bare feet and a smile on a precious face.

How to donate.
    Stay tuned for drop-off locations. You choose. You drop-off. We ship.
    All in a plastic/ziplock bag:
        1. Your shoes
        2. Your name
        3. Optional- A letter to the child.
        4. Optional- donation for the shipping expenses.

Please keep the questions and ideas coming to purshoejoy@gmail.com.

Dream so BIG that only GOD can fulfill it, y'all!
-SA

Where to begin?

Jesus. With Jesus is where I will begin this one.

Last night, I had on repeat my latest go-to for the past 2 months, Oceans by Hillsong. (It's just as incred. in Espanol.) 

Did you catch Joel Houston's wisdom in the beginning?
"God is always calling us further and deeper. Often our prayer, our confession is "God I want you to take me deeper. I want to know more of you. I want to do more for you." We always want to do more for God like that is what He is after. God is not looking for us to do more for Him. He is actually just looking for more of us, more of our heart. And when He gets more of us, our attention, our affection our heart, our trust, He is able to do more through us."

Amen, right? Well, friends I have to confess; I have been up to somethin' that I haven't shared. I dropped a hint a-couple-a-blogs-ago that I had big news and I can FINALLY shout it from the volcano tops. But wait, we have to have a commercial first.

Many of us have had the dream of starting some sort of something at least once in our life. At least, I know I have. However, never did I put any more thought into that dream, just did not think that is where the Lord would ever take me. Months ago, I mentioned to Mama and Kenz and my college friends just the idea of bringing shoes from the States to here. But that was it. Nothing more. When I moved here, I kept reading, hearing, seeing, thinking, "be Jesus' hands and feet." I did not really understand why, though. With every attempt to seek and find why this kept coming up, the answer started unraveling about a month and a half ago. However, it was once of the scariest answers He has ever given me. It was not some miraculous answer written in the sky though. I had to devote time daily to pray about it. I had to meet that family of soon-to-be-12, I call the "ONE". I had to pass a lot of filthy, bare feet. I had to seek wisdom from those that make me want to be better. I had to have a few break-downs. I had to be wide-eyed to the smallest details. I had to be still and listen (my biggest struggle). I had to give Jesus more of me. I had to give him my attention, my affection, my heart and my trust. And through that is where I found my answer.

Commercial is almost done...stay tuned but let me just warn you, you better be ready when you pray a prayer like this song. "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger, in the presence of my Savior." Seriously, be ready because He may lead you to/give you a CrAzY task like this one:

Yep. No matter how many times I said "Lord I do not want to be THAT girl that moves to a third world and starts a movement", He says, "Boo-yaa, Shel, you asked to be lead somewhere bigger than yourself so here it is." 

The name "pur[SHOE]ing joy" came to me in one of my many wee-houred, wide-eyed nights where my mind goes 90-to-nothin'. I emailed my #1 fan, Kenz and of course like always, she takes the idea and runs miles with it. She was more pumped than a new bicycle. You know when you have and idea and you just need one person to take off your training wheels, hold your bike, keep you standing and push you along for a while? That is why she is my fan, y'all. She has done just that and SO much more. Her precious, generous, big-hearted, oh-so-talented friend, Mattie Tiegreen heard the story and gave us that PERFECT logo above. She did this on the 1st try, too. YOU KNOW you want to see more of her stuff so click here. Puddleduck Paper Company is where it's at, y'all! Mattie, I cannot thank you enough for helping me pur[SHOE] joy. 

The mini background story commercial is over. Let's put on a show for Him, friends because this idea became a reality today. We're live, TODAY! We began in Atlanta, Georgia at Campbell High School where my sister works as a counselor. Mrs. Lawson is pur[SHOE]ing joy for us ALL week. 

WHAT in the heck does "pur[SHOE]ing joy" actually mean? Right now, let's call it a movement. We have hopes of "Shoeing kids so they can pursue their dreams." Whether we realize it or not, growing up in America, we are fortunate enough to have access to the resources to pursue our dreams. We are fortunate enough to experience the feeling of joy on a daily basis. Where I live in Guatemala, those two things are very rare. I see bare feet everywhere I look when walking to my daily tasks. Before this adventure began, I was getting a new pair of shoes about every 3 months and then dumping them. Why? Because I was not thinking outside of the American-dream; because I “needed” them. At least that is what I thought until I got here and realized that while I consider shoes a “necessity”, Guatemalans don’t have that option because shoes are a rarity here. When was the last time you credited your daily success or joy to having a pair of shoes? If you are anything like me, the answer is probably “never”. Even those in the United States that are less fortunate, usually own at least one pair of shoes. That is not the case here, more often than not. We do not know what it is like to not have shoes on a daily basis. Our biggest issue is which shoes we are going to wear that day, right? I have found that clean water and shoes are two of the biggest needs here. Seeing what they walk on daily and how much they walk is enough to make us realize that shoes are a huge need. It is wet-mud in rainy season and dried dirt in dry season and towards the city, it is dirty, cobblestone streets. A great number of people are disabled from being born from parents who struggled with substance abuse so they need the support from shoes. Alot of kids cannot go to school because they do not have shoes. Would you consider helping the people of Guatemala “pur[shoe] joy” by giving them your old shoes? Sounds crazy, I know, but if you could see their faces upon receiving something as simple as a pair of shoes, you would not even believe the joy! While shoes are a huge barrier for the Guatemalans, they are a simple need we can meet to provide freedom and joy for these people.
 
I took our first pair to my "ONE" family a couple of weeks ago. Only one pair though. The other ten still need shoes. And I'll be honest, they were one of the THREE unnecessary pair that I brought here.


As this is only our first week, we are going work out the kinks and THEN it will be your turn to place your shoes in a bin near you. Old tennis shoes or inexpensive new shoes is what we need. Besides providing shoes and joy, I have a great desire to connect you and the child. When you place your shoes in the bin you will also leave your name and a simple note of encouragement to the child receiving your shoes. But there is more. I will take a picture of the child or adult wearing your exact shoes and I will post the picture, your name and the receiver's name on my blog and our Facebook page. Why? Because I want YOU to see for a FACT that you brought joy to the face of a Guatemalan. So often, people give clothes, money, shoes, food etc. to help people and they never actually SEE if for themselves but that is not the case here. We will have multiple locations available for you. It cost you NOTHING. One of my new Guatemalan local ladies is currently hand-weaving "pur[SHOE]ing joy" bracelets, too. Because we are going to have so many shoes to bring back here, I know my idea of bringing them in my suitcase is just not gunna work. That is the BEST PROBLEM I COULD EVER IMAGINE. I am not worried about it one bit though, He gave me this idea so I know He will not leave me stranded with a problem too big for Him to handle. Hey, in fact, let's just make that problem happen!

Who is ready to be able to say "Joy pur[SHOE]ed"? 

Please email me at purshoejoy@gmail.com for any questions, ideas, if you want to be involved or even just to tell us how pumped you are! 

PUMPED to pur[SHOE] joy,

SA

 

8 weeks...

has flown by and I am somehow still FULL of joy, y'all! I think this is the longest I have been without seeing my mama and daddy but thank goodness for sweet "lover letters" from Jesus, I am doing just fine. Seriously, I miss them every single day and wish they could see this place but it is forcing me to recognize that I have the GREATEST EVER with me on this journey and He just so happens to be the Creator of it all. This does not mean I do not want y'all to hurry up and GET HERE ALREADY. My sweet friend from Ole Miss, Sam introduced the idea of "love letters" to me during our freshmen year, I thought it was BRILLIANT and have prayed for them (daily) since. (Love you Sam) Love letters? What are they? Just reminders that He loves us, Satan will not win, Jesus knows our desires, He cares, we are where we need to be, etc. He doesn't miss a beat, does He? We all get them whether we notice them or not. Some would choose to see things like this as coincidence but let me just tell you, He is not a coincidental kinda God, it is all divine and ordained in my opinion.

"Love letter" examples:
#1- Last Friday night, Ty and Lee's mom and step-dad came to visit. Let's just say I am thankful for southern hospitality, southern accents and this sweet southern family. Made me feel at home for a second.

#2- I spent last weekend in the city with the sweetest family that has taken me in as their own. I got spoiled with a comfy bed, being barefooted in a house without getting black feet, great home-cooked meals, a trip to the mall to get a real Starbucks, oh and I went to the Justin Bieber (btw, they pronounce it, "Yustine") concert to "babysit". To watch thousands of tweens go CrAzY over this Canadian/American heartthrob was quite a site... to state the obvious that blew my mind the most, they were singing along in English with JB but clearly had NO clue what he was saying. Crossed that one off on my bucket list.

#3- Hello Monday. So during my 8 weeks here so far, I have realized just how small Antigua is despite what it seems. I see the same people almost every day. I love it. This one women, I for sure see every day, sitting in the same spot, shoeless, filthy and hungry but not begging. I always make sure to speak to her but have never really taken the time to do more. Well this time, I literally bumped into her and the words "¿Puedo ayudarle?" (Can I help you?) just came right out of my mouth (didn't even know I knew those words). She responded "Necesito comida." (I need food). Ironically, we were right in front of Pollo Campero. Ironically, that morning I had prayed for the Lord to 'give me someone I can help today'. The joy on this sweet women's face when she received a small meal was quite a love letter reminding me that He is using me in bigger ways than I know even if it to spend my lunch money on someone else. Selflessness is a hard one but I am excited for the opportunity to learn it with this sweet women.

#4- Tuesday morning, I walked into work and Leslie, my favorite co-worker said "Come on sugar britches, I have a surprise for you." Let me take you back to remind you that a big reason for me coming to Guatemala in the first place was to get medical experience that I cannot get in the States because I am not yet a nurse. While I have been exposed to ALOT here, nothing up to this point had been necessarily what I had imagined medically speaking. I just took this as God clearly has bigger and better plans that I can imagine for myself. Since this past summer I have been questioning nursing almost every day, honestly was close to letting go of that dream (for silly reasons). Am I the only one that gets impatient with this kinda stuff? While I was letting go, He was preparing to send a love letter.

So back to Leslie's surprise, we walk through the maze of a hospital to these thick black doors that held a sign that read "Shelby, you do not have the credentials to enter". Basically. We disobeyed. Inside was a nurse giving a patient an IV and in the next room was an American doc and nurse and a Guatemalan doc with a patient lying on the hospital bed. Dr. M and Sarah came from Minnesota as gastroenterologist to train Dr. T how to give colonoscopies and endoscopies. These patients have been waiting a year to get this procedure done because when Dr. M comes, it is a free service, diagnosis and medicine. To say they took me in and treated my like I was apart of their team is an understatement. As weird as it may seem, I was like a little kid on Christmas morning, like I had just gotten the newest American girl doll or something. Dr. M started explaining details as I was assisting (holding the patients hand) during the procedure. After about 4 patients, he and Sarah left to grab some lunch so I thought we would take a break. Well the next patient comes in ready to go and lies down on the bed. I then thought to myself, Dr. T and I cannot do this alone, she will just have to wait. Good thought, Shel. That kid on Christmas morning feeling quickly went away. Dr. T (does not speak English) gets things ready to go and hands me the syringe of Propofol (just so happens to be the same medicine that Michael Jackson died from and pretty sure only doctors can give it in the States). As you can imagine, I am sweating and terrified but couldn't say what I wanted to say in Spanish. So I gave the meds through the IV and then he hands me the pulse oximeter to place on her finger. I forgot normal oxygen/heart rate levels for a second because I was so nervous and could not believe what I was about to have to do. I mean HELLO, I am no where near being a nurse, I am a wanna-be actually. Dr. T didn't seem to be worried about it one bit so I had to pull it together. Endoscopy was first and of course it was a difficult patient but we made it through that and towards the end of the colonoscopy, Dr. M walked in like a proud father and whipped out his camera to take pics of the newly made, Nurse Aus. I thought he was going to make Sarah come take over but no, he just stood there and made me keep going. Yes, I am in a third-world country and had hoped for cool nursing opportunities, but NEVER did I imagine that I would get to actually be a NURSE while here. This was my week. They made me/let me do many more and a few biopsies with just Dr. T and I. The Lord took my dream and made it bigger than I could imagine, like always. Nothin' like a love letter reminding me that even when we give up, He never does. I promise if you delight in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4) Just try it. Don't get impatient or underestimate Him like I did. He makes the impossible possible.

Just to give y'all a laugh, I called Mama and Daddy (on cloud 900 still) and I told Eddie about my first day. Of course, he went into financial, literal, legal mode hoping that he didn't have some law suit on the way. Good thing they don't have those here. This is the one that loves me by keeping me in line and making me act right. When I told Al, she said "Oh good doll, I am so glad you loved it. I was getting worried that you were giving up nursing on us and we need a nurse in the family." This is the one that loves me by pushing me and making me want to reach for the stars. Thank you Mama and Daddy for being the World's Greatest! 

#5- Tuesday night, one of my many second mamas, Mrs. Debbie sent me an email full of encouragement, as many of you have done too. Her email brought me to tears as she told me after she was just reading my blog about ONE, she went to church only to hear her pastor give a sermon on "helping just one". Again, another one of those divine moments from God, right? This was simply a reminder that He is just as much invested as I am in this project of helping the ONE family here. Not just that, but He is placing desires in people like Mrs. Deb's heart to be apart of something burning in my heart. He is using Y'ALL in America to be apart of something He is doing in Guatemala. How cool! A part of me is shocked and wants to ask God why He is providing left and right, another part of me is not surprised one bit by this, I mean is it God were talking about. Thank you for enduring the chaos of my blog. Thank you for praying and seeking. Thank you for listening and obeying. Again I say, what a love letter.

#6- Go download John Piper's devotional app on your phones. It is incredible and brings me to tears quite often. Talk about a love letter. Read it. The suffering that comes is part of the price of living where you are in obedience to the call of God. That got me. Why? Because I knew this is where the Lord wanted me but as y'all know, I question it sometimes, especially on the hard days. This brought me back though. Just because you are suffering where you are does not mean that you are not where the Lord wants you. Like Piper said here, "All suffering that comes in the path of obedience is suffering with Christ and for Christ- whether it is cancer of conflict." Just read it. Let's embrace the suffering.

No love letter on this one, just fun, historical, cultural experiences in Guatemala. Halloween is a HUGE deal here as it is the eve of Dia de Todos Los Santos or All Saints Day. I spent Thursday night as a fox/bear and Friday lying on a huge tombstone with the rest of Guatemala looking at these kites made out of 100% tissue paper and bamboo.

These things were huge, and to watch a strong gust of wind take them down is just depressing. The farmer's wives get together and make these kites to match the pattern for their village. And kids standing on tombstones to fly their handmade kite above the crowd, totally normal right? It is here at least.

Look for love letters this week, friends. He leaves them everywhere and there's always joy in them.

- SA

One.

Not everyone. Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone.

Hold on, we will come back to that. So last Sunday, I was sitting in my sweet little church, Iglesia del Camino, writing in my journal that I wanted to start memorizing more scripture. It is so important in my opinion (2 Tim. 3:16) and I will be honest and say I haven't memorized a scripture since I graduated from ELCA in 2009. We had to memorize a verse every single week of the 10 years that I was there. I so took if for granted. Iglesia del Camino does this cool memory moment before each sermon where they ask anyone that wants to to stand up and quote the church-wide memory verse from the previous week. To see people stand up and do this from all over the globe, of all ages, english and spanish, boy and girl, man and woman, is absolutely precious. I immediately decided to take up the church challenge to memorize Galatians 6:9-10 for this week.

Monday, Katy and I went to Guatemala City for a doctors appointment but mainly for the purpose of hopefully hunting down some candy corn, or something close to that. (Y'all wouldn't believe the Walmart here.) Successful day as you can see. 

I spent all of Tuesday in the village doing some nutrition work and observing some of the families for an exciting project that I will share soon. Mid-morning I grew silent (not normal for me). The more I looked around, the more questions I asked, the more I learned from the families, the more overwhelmed and little I felt. I wanted to just close my eyes and ears and just cry. Obviously, I knew that the needs here were going to be overwhelming but I was slowly losing sight of a lesson learned in South Africa, "Do for one, what you wish you could do for everyone.". I went to help this family with nutrition needs because they don't have food. They don't have food because they don't have money. They don't have money because dad uses the money for alcohol or takes it for himself. Did I mention that they have 9 kids and 1 on the way? Dad claims that he cannot work because he has a hernia. I offer to take him to the hospital where I work to get him checked out but he says they probably won't find anything, it just hurts. Reality is, dad can't work because he has an alcohol problem. Dad is choosing alcohol over a starving pregnant wife and 9 children. Ok, so I think I have gotten to the root of the problem with dad's alcohol problem. Wrong. I started talking to dad in my broken spanish to find that he is simply overwhelmed and in too deep. He does not know a way out. He is stressed for more reasons than we can count or understand. The families living situation alone would be enough for someone to cling to whatever they knew, alcohol in his situation. Giving money is never a good idea, especially in this situation. Let's give them blankets and food. Oh wait, they have mud floors and really no where to cook food. They have a 3-room house the size of 1 room in America. They have 3 mattresses for a family of 11. Maybe we should place cement floors in their barely-standing, boarded home? After that, we can re-build their home to keep the day heat and night cold out. Ok, think we are finally at the root. Oh wait, they don't own the land. Spending money on a house would be no help because it could be taken from them at any second. They owe 55,000 Quetzals so that they can own the land, which is about $6,790 US dollars. This is quite impossible even for the average way of life here. My mind starts churning with ideas of somehow paying off their land and building them a house which is possible with $3,000 more dollars. But wait, then I go meet the family next door to realize that they have a similar situation. And the next, and the next and the next and it never ends. It is in the village next door. It is throughout Guatemala and the countries surrounding. It is in America. It is all over the globe. That is where my mind was on my bus ride home. So I think, ok I really shouldn't help the first family because I do not even have enough to help them, much less the family next door and next to them and the rest of the world in need. 

Are you overwhelmed yet? That actually was not my purpose for telling you all this. The point is, I took the number 6,790 and ran with it in every direction BUT the right one. To Jesus. Reality is, that number is NOTHING compared to what He is capable of. However, my mind was still going 90-to-nothin' so I decided to call Mama and Daddy to overwhelm them. It hit me. The only person that can understand this is the one that knows the purpose for all this, the Creator. This doesn't overwhelm Him one single bit. Now if that doesn't give you joy, I don't know what will. So I got ready for bed and decided that I should look at Galatians 6:9-10 considering I had to memorize it for this Sunday and hadn't looked at it once. Just take a second to look it up. I want to you to see if for yourself. How BIG can He be y'all? How perfect. How fitting. How divine. How sweet. I could go on. As if that wasn't enough, I came across THIS. Don't have a clue who these people are but thank you. Amen. Matthew 25 says "When you have done it unto the least of these my brothers and sisters, you have done it unto me." So I just kept seeing things like go, least of these, go and do likewise, be His hands and feet but it still wasn't 100% clear of who to help and where among this multitude of needs. I am clearly not the smartest crayon in the box because it took THIS to make me jump out of my bed (literally) at 11 p.m. and scream "I GET IT, GOD, I GET IT!" Thank you, Andy Stanley. Again, I say AMEN. I can only hope that you click both links. I know both will rock your world and it will make this a whole lot more clear than I can make it.

So who is my ONE? You guessed it. The family of 11, soon-to-be 12 next month. It is so evident that the Lord is point to this one for me. But I want to change that 'my' to 'our' because YES, I need y'alls help whether it is financially or prayerfully. The story Andy tells about Jane is where I lost it because if I think too much about what we are about to do, an overwhelming comes back. Why? Because I know that everything is not going to go perfectly smooth. While I continue to share Jesus with the family, I know they do not fully get it. I know they will get greedy at times. I am sure the father is going to choose alcohol multiple times through this process. I am sure we will find other needs within these needs but we cannot grow weary in doing good. Through y'all is how the Lord is going to make this happen. I just know it and I cannot wait to watch it happen. While I wish I could do this for everyone, I find JOY in doing for ONE and I hope you can to. Let's buy this land and build this house, friends. Come with me and let's be Jesus' hands and feet. Let's do it unto the least of these. Help me do it for this one. 

Pictures of their current home are in a separate blog below.

How to donate: So that y'all can get your tax refunds please make checks payable to FBC McDonough and 'Shelby Ausband's mission' for the memo. You can either mail them or drop them off at the address below or even drop them off at my house and my parents will get it to the church:

First Baptist Church of McDonough

101 Macon Street

McDonough, Georgia 30253

I cannot thank y'all who have already given, those praying and those praying about giving. Your generosity and encouragement blows my mind daily. To say it means the world to me is an understatement.

Joy in this one,

SA

Only HALF of them

Floor in their home

The "bathroom"

The "kitchen"

just south of Heaven...

is where I spent last Friday night and I just have to show y'all. I met some of the coolest people from literally, all over the globe. The Earth Lodge was built on an avocado farm (didn't know those existed) by a sweet couple, the husband is from Canada and the wife is from America. It was the sweetest little mountain-top get away after last weeks emotional valley (so punny, right?) I literally felt like Eliza from the Wild Thornberries, y'all. 

To keep it as private as possible, you take a bus up the mountain and walk about half a mile to get to the actual lodge. It was pouring and of course I didn't dress accordingly or bring my rain jacket. Even with the Friday afternoon fog, it was quite the view. I am pretty sure this is one place I could live for the rest of my life. Yes, I said it. I could live in that treehouse. I mean, couldn't you?! 

Every night, they have a family style dinner in the main lodge, forcing you to get to know everyone. As you can imagine, so many cool stories. Oh and not to mention, the BEST guacamole in the WORLD. After dinner, I grabbed about my 8th cup of black coffee, sat in a hammock and watched Jesus' lightening show over Antigua.

I found that just about the only time I will literally jump out of bed is when I wake up to an Earth Lodge view that could be worth billions. What an ARTIST we serve! It takes a lot for this child to be speechless and this view did just that. Honestly, I just kept wondering how people can look at something like this and still not believe there is a God?"

Pretty sure I sat here for 3 straight hours and had another 8 cups. Volcanoes to your left and right ready to explode any second........

>>>---------------->

Got home just in time to watch the Rebs beat LSU. By watch, I mean FaceTime the whole fam with the camera turned to the TV (and duck boots) with Tripp as my ESPN commentator. I'd say I am a true fan! HOTTY TODDY! 

Late, random but so necessary, right? New update tomorrow!

Breath-taking views and good football, thanks to the Creator, I have JOY!

SA

Take heart

A while back, a family from Ohio moved to a near village to start a home for special needs kids. They have five biological children, five adopted children and five special needs kids from here that they have taken in. They have an incredible ministry. Talk about a power couple! One of their biological children, Carissa comes to the hospital once a week on her day off from helping at their home. Last week when we were getting to know each other, she learned that I graduated with a Dietetics and Nutrition major in college. I have never given my major much considering besides knowing it would help with nursing school in the future. But here, they think it is the greatest thing on earth considering the amount of malnourished people in this country. I was oblivious to the fact that He was leading me down a path where I would use my major on a daily basis. Carissa emailed me the next day asking if I would come look at their latest 5-month old addition as she was severely malnourished. I said yes but really hesitant because I felt like I had forgotten everything I learned in college. I immediately opened my old textbooks to prepare for Wednesday. Thankfully, the knowledge hadn't escaped me as much as I thought. However, I was still asking myself "What in the world is this family doing asking ME for a nutrition opinion, I am not equipped to do this am I?" Finally I just let it go and told myself that it was a malnourished child, it is a fixable problem. Carissa came into town early Wednesday morning to pick me up. After about a 30 minute ride to their village, we arrived at their home to the organized chaos of too many kids to count. The mom started sharing about their home, their ministry and how the Lord has graciously provided for them. Then I met Esperanza...

When I say I have never in my life, I have NEVER in my life seen what I saw that day. Who knows how far my jaw dropped but I quickly had to pull it together. I had to be the strong one. You cannot break down in those moments. So I started asking questions while panicking on the inside. 

Esperanza (which means hope) is a 5 month old baby girl from Guatemala. When she was born, they believe that her biological mother threw her in the trashcan. Her insides are completely flipped from ours. Esperanza was born with Kleeblatt Schadel Syndrome. The family said there are very few recorded cases like Esperanza's. To sum it up, it is a premature closure of the sutures in the skull. Her skull bones fused together too soon, leaving no space for the brain to grow except in the temporal regions. A clover leaf is the exact distinct shape of her head. I found that no picture on Google is as severe as Esperanza's case. Are y'all wondering what in the world I have gotten myself into at this point? Yeah, me too. Esperanza has gained one pound since the family took her in, making her a total of EIGHT pounds. (At her age, she should have doubled in weight but at this point, you cannot compare her to a normal child.) I immediately said, praise the Lord! The mother quickly said, "yes, but we think the entire pound is in her head, not her body." I cannot describe how frail her little body is. "God what in the world are you doing? I have no clue what to do, no doctor even knows of this and I am not even close to a doctor." I had no choice y'all. I had to share what little knowledge I had and hope that it helps. So I did. I felt completely defeated but the sweet mother was so thankful for what little I had to offer. I spent the rest of the day holding Esperanza, feeding her the few ounces that she would eat. The only thing I knew to do was cry out for help. For strength. For courage. For Esperanza. I prayed the entire time I was holding her. Instead of saying why God like I wanted to, I just started humming, "Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world." Esperanza is BEAUTIFUL in HIS sight and mine. You would be so surprised at the large personality that she holds despite all that she is fighting!

After a while, the mom and I started talking. She said one day she wants to contact every doctor she knows and beg them to give her surgery, and spend thousands on medicine and medical attention knowing that Esperanza will never live a life close to normal or comfortable. Then the next day, she feels like the Lord is going to take her any day so they just need to hug her to Heaven and keep her comfortable until then, being thankful for the time they do have with her. The more I sat there, the more this became the exact battle in my head. I still don't know. I still don't have the answer. I was so frustrated but knew I could not show those emotions to a mom that knows that battle far better than I ever will. After the longest four hours of my life, Carissa dropped me off at home. I still couldn't believe what I had just left. I got in my house, sat on the couch thinking I was fine one minute and broke down the next. I lost all control. Tears flowing like crazy. I didn't want to call anyone because I didn't want to show anyone the picture. I did not want them to have to see it to be honest. I knew that no one would know what to say or how to help. I just sat there and cried for about an hour when Kenzie FaceTimed me. I explained it the best I could. The only thing we knew to do was pray for Esperanza and her new family. We both cried. We asked God why. Neither of us understood. I don't know that we ever will but what I do know is that His reasoning is too big for my little brain to understand. While I know that the Lord is FULLY capable of performing a miracle for little Esperanza, I also know that He is FULLY capable of bringing her home to be with Him. 

I spent the rest of the afternoon in tears until Mrs. Glynis called asking me to come to their house for dinner. I did not want to move the rest of the night. Kenz told me I needed to get out of the house and she knows best so I did. The Lord knew what He was doing when He introduced us just the day before. We drank sweet tea from Georgia Bulldawg cups and enjoyed southern cookin' and hearing southern accents. 

I so wish I could share a full picture of sweet Esperanza but the family has asked that I not, which I respect. Even though you cannot exactly picture her, know that she needs your prayers. I have no doubt that the Lord has a plan for Esperanza. I have no doubt that Esperanza changed my life and that even her story will change yours. I cannot describe how hard it was knowing I couldn't take her pain away or how hard it was telling her new family that there was nothing else I could do. At times, I feel like I let them down but I am clinging the One that knows the answers, the One who made her and the One that knows what He is doing with her. Let's lift up Esperanza and her precious family! 

"Rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer."-Romans 12:12 

I rejoice in "hope", I rejoice in Esperanza. I rejoice in the fact that He died to give Esperanza the most perfect life one day in Heaven. I rejoice in the fact that I get to spend eternity with Esperanza one day. I will persevere through this because of these promises. Will you rejoice with me? Let's preserve and be devoted to praying for sweet Esperanza. 

"Consider is ALL JOY, my brethren, when you encounter various trials."- James 1:2

As hard as it is to find joy through this, it is a must. The second that we lose sight of the Creator is the second that we lose joy. 

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you may have tribulations, but take heart; I have overcome the world."- John 16:33 

Friends, let's take heart in the fact that when He overcame the world, He overcame our biggest sins, our biggest sickness, and our biggest trials. This means that He even overcame cloverleaf syndrome. He overcame every bit of Esperanza's pain. Because of these things, let's have peace.

Joy because He overcame,

SA