8 weeks...

has flown by and I am somehow still FULL of joy, y'all! I think this is the longest I have been without seeing my mama and daddy but thank goodness for sweet "lover letters" from Jesus, I am doing just fine. Seriously, I miss them every single day and wish they could see this place but it is forcing me to recognize that I have the GREATEST EVER with me on this journey and He just so happens to be the Creator of it all. This does not mean I do not want y'all to hurry up and GET HERE ALREADY. My sweet friend from Ole Miss, Sam introduced the idea of "love letters" to me during our freshmen year, I thought it was BRILLIANT and have prayed for them (daily) since. (Love you Sam) Love letters? What are they? Just reminders that He loves us, Satan will not win, Jesus knows our desires, He cares, we are where we need to be, etc. He doesn't miss a beat, does He? We all get them whether we notice them or not. Some would choose to see things like this as coincidence but let me just tell you, He is not a coincidental kinda God, it is all divine and ordained in my opinion.

"Love letter" examples:
#1- Last Friday night, Ty and Lee's mom and step-dad came to visit. Let's just say I am thankful for southern hospitality, southern accents and this sweet southern family. Made me feel at home for a second.

#2- I spent last weekend in the city with the sweetest family that has taken me in as their own. I got spoiled with a comfy bed, being barefooted in a house without getting black feet, great home-cooked meals, a trip to the mall to get a real Starbucks, oh and I went to the Justin Bieber (btw, they pronounce it, "Yustine") concert to "babysit". To watch thousands of tweens go CrAzY over this Canadian/American heartthrob was quite a site... to state the obvious that blew my mind the most, they were singing along in English with JB but clearly had NO clue what he was saying. Crossed that one off on my bucket list.

#3- Hello Monday. So during my 8 weeks here so far, I have realized just how small Antigua is despite what it seems. I see the same people almost every day. I love it. This one women, I for sure see every day, sitting in the same spot, shoeless, filthy and hungry but not begging. I always make sure to speak to her but have never really taken the time to do more. Well this time, I literally bumped into her and the words "¿Puedo ayudarle?" (Can I help you?) just came right out of my mouth (didn't even know I knew those words). She responded "Necesito comida." (I need food). Ironically, we were right in front of Pollo Campero. Ironically, that morning I had prayed for the Lord to 'give me someone I can help today'. The joy on this sweet women's face when she received a small meal was quite a love letter reminding me that He is using me in bigger ways than I know even if it to spend my lunch money on someone else. Selflessness is a hard one but I am excited for the opportunity to learn it with this sweet women.

#4- Tuesday morning, I walked into work and Leslie, my favorite co-worker said "Come on sugar britches, I have a surprise for you." Let me take you back to remind you that a big reason for me coming to Guatemala in the first place was to get medical experience that I cannot get in the States because I am not yet a nurse. While I have been exposed to ALOT here, nothing up to this point had been necessarily what I had imagined medically speaking. I just took this as God clearly has bigger and better plans that I can imagine for myself. Since this past summer I have been questioning nursing almost every day, honestly was close to letting go of that dream (for silly reasons). Am I the only one that gets impatient with this kinda stuff? While I was letting go, He was preparing to send a love letter.

So back to Leslie's surprise, we walk through the maze of a hospital to these thick black doors that held a sign that read "Shelby, you do not have the credentials to enter". Basically. We disobeyed. Inside was a nurse giving a patient an IV and in the next room was an American doc and nurse and a Guatemalan doc with a patient lying on the hospital bed. Dr. M and Sarah came from Minnesota as gastroenterologist to train Dr. T how to give colonoscopies and endoscopies. These patients have been waiting a year to get this procedure done because when Dr. M comes, it is a free service, diagnosis and medicine. To say they took me in and treated my like I was apart of their team is an understatement. As weird as it may seem, I was like a little kid on Christmas morning, like I had just gotten the newest American girl doll or something. Dr. M started explaining details as I was assisting (holding the patients hand) during the procedure. After about 4 patients, he and Sarah left to grab some lunch so I thought we would take a break. Well the next patient comes in ready to go and lies down on the bed. I then thought to myself, Dr. T and I cannot do this alone, she will just have to wait. Good thought, Shel. That kid on Christmas morning feeling quickly went away. Dr. T (does not speak English) gets things ready to go and hands me the syringe of Propofol (just so happens to be the same medicine that Michael Jackson died from and pretty sure only doctors can give it in the States). As you can imagine, I am sweating and terrified but couldn't say what I wanted to say in Spanish. So I gave the meds through the IV and then he hands me the pulse oximeter to place on her finger. I forgot normal oxygen/heart rate levels for a second because I was so nervous and could not believe what I was about to have to do. I mean HELLO, I am no where near being a nurse, I am a wanna-be actually. Dr. T didn't seem to be worried about it one bit so I had to pull it together. Endoscopy was first and of course it was a difficult patient but we made it through that and towards the end of the colonoscopy, Dr. M walked in like a proud father and whipped out his camera to take pics of the newly made, Nurse Aus. I thought he was going to make Sarah come take over but no, he just stood there and made me keep going. Yes, I am in a third-world country and had hoped for cool nursing opportunities, but NEVER did I imagine that I would get to actually be a NURSE while here. This was my week. They made me/let me do many more and a few biopsies with just Dr. T and I. The Lord took my dream and made it bigger than I could imagine, like always. Nothin' like a love letter reminding me that even when we give up, He never does. I promise if you delight in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4) Just try it. Don't get impatient or underestimate Him like I did. He makes the impossible possible.

Just to give y'all a laugh, I called Mama and Daddy (on cloud 900 still) and I told Eddie about my first day. Of course, he went into financial, literal, legal mode hoping that he didn't have some law suit on the way. Good thing they don't have those here. This is the one that loves me by keeping me in line and making me act right. When I told Al, she said "Oh good doll, I am so glad you loved it. I was getting worried that you were giving up nursing on us and we need a nurse in the family." This is the one that loves me by pushing me and making me want to reach for the stars. Thank you Mama and Daddy for being the World's Greatest! 

#5- Tuesday night, one of my many second mamas, Mrs. Debbie sent me an email full of encouragement, as many of you have done too. Her email brought me to tears as she told me after she was just reading my blog about ONE, she went to church only to hear her pastor give a sermon on "helping just one". Again, another one of those divine moments from God, right? This was simply a reminder that He is just as much invested as I am in this project of helping the ONE family here. Not just that, but He is placing desires in people like Mrs. Deb's heart to be apart of something burning in my heart. He is using Y'ALL in America to be apart of something He is doing in Guatemala. How cool! A part of me is shocked and wants to ask God why He is providing left and right, another part of me is not surprised one bit by this, I mean is it God were talking about. Thank you for enduring the chaos of my blog. Thank you for praying and seeking. Thank you for listening and obeying. Again I say, what a love letter.

#6- Go download John Piper's devotional app on your phones. It is incredible and brings me to tears quite often. Talk about a love letter. Read it. The suffering that comes is part of the price of living where you are in obedience to the call of God. That got me. Why? Because I knew this is where the Lord wanted me but as y'all know, I question it sometimes, especially on the hard days. This brought me back though. Just because you are suffering where you are does not mean that you are not where the Lord wants you. Like Piper said here, "All suffering that comes in the path of obedience is suffering with Christ and for Christ- whether it is cancer of conflict." Just read it. Let's embrace the suffering.

No love letter on this one, just fun, historical, cultural experiences in Guatemala. Halloween is a HUGE deal here as it is the eve of Dia de Todos Los Santos or All Saints Day. I spent Thursday night as a fox/bear and Friday lying on a huge tombstone with the rest of Guatemala looking at these kites made out of 100% tissue paper and bamboo.

These things were huge, and to watch a strong gust of wind take them down is just depressing. The farmer's wives get together and make these kites to match the pattern for their village. And kids standing on tombstones to fly their handmade kite above the crowd, totally normal right? It is here at least.

Look for love letters this week, friends. He leaves them everywhere and there's always joy in them.

- SA