A desert place

This past weekend, I had plans to go to Panajachel with friends to hangout at one of my most favorite places in the world, Lake Atitlan. Believe me when I say, it has the fingerprints of God ALL. OVER. IT. Long story short, my new friend Katy and I stayed here in Antigua. I spent a lot of time reading, thinking, doubting, praying, listening and missing (my family and friends). If you know me, you know that I do NOT do well with quiet, down-time. However, I am slowly learning that it is important to slow down, be still. Confession: It was not totally silent, that is just impossible for me. Nate Moore's "Joy" was playin' in the background. Awesome guy. You want to go download it on iTunes, for sure!

When I was starting my blog, my fab. sister suggested the name "JOY", Jesus. Others. Yourself. At first, I thought it seemed a little too cliche but as you can see, everything Kenz says/does is right in this world, at least to me. One of those days when my mind was going 90-to-nothin' back home, I thought of JOYaus. In the dictionary, the word joyous means "full of happiness, being joyful". Perfect thought, Kenz. Why the "aus"… my last name, duh! I did this knowing that there was going to be many days that I would struggle to find joy between selfishly missing the comfort of the States and my family, and seeing the brokenness here day after day. It was head knowledge. The Lord is showing me the adjective, JOY and making it heart knowledge. 

Saturday Google searches: "missionaries in Antigua", "missionaries in Guatemala", "christian churches in Antigua", "christians in Antigua".

Can somebody say, DESPERATE? I wasn't finding much. All I needed/wanted was somebody here to pour into me, keep me straight and make me better. (4 u, K&P) Someone I could vent to, cry to, and talk to. In that moment, I realized how spoiled I have been to have friends constantly pouring into me. How y'all put up with me, I will never understand. So as I started begging the Lord to give me those kinda people here, it hit me. I was craving Godly friends more than I was God Himself. I was spelling "JOY" backwards, "Yourself. Others. Jesus." Godly friends are great and so important, but the reality is, we serve an all-satisfying, all-knowing God. (Psalm 43:4) I forget this far too often. I idolize those people in my life as if I deserve them. They are a gift. They gave me JOY then and still give me JOY all the way across the world but they are not here. However, I am learning to be content in the JOY that Jesus is trying to show me. JOY, because He is sovereign. JOY, because He is always here. JOY, because He gives the most joy. JOY, because He is all I need. JOY, even in the sufferings. 

It sorta went like this:

God: "Boo-yaa, Shel, I will show you JOY, all kinds of it. You only need to be still and know that I am all you need. I       am your Godly friend. I am God." 

Joyaus: "Clearly I didn't know what I was doing when I named my blog, JOYaus but thankful that you knew what you were doing when you let me, God."

Don't ever doubt that He will take away your comforts and privileges to make you a better Christian.

[And he took them, and went aside privately into a desert place. Luke 9:10]

"In order to grow, we must be much alone. It is not in society that the soul grows most vigorously. In one single quiet hour of prayer, it will often make more progress than in days of company with others. It is in the desert that dew falls freshest and the air is purest." - Andrew Bonar 

Praying that you find joy in your desert place.

-Shel