This day y'all, this day. Let's just get this straight before I go on, these Guatemalan Converse are no longer pearly whites.
These past few days have been unfamiliar/uncomfortable but muy bien, too. Examples: walking the streets alone, saying my southern form of "hola" to every Guatemalan I pass, walking a mile to the store, learning that I am the pickiest diva of them all, meeting new friends and hanging with fellow Rebels (Ty and Lee), oh and finding strange things in my bed. However none of these things really gave me fear, more of an unknown feeling that I kinda love. However, until this morning there was a step or two or three that I had been putting off. I didn't want to go to the hospital because "I don't know much Espanol yet and no one speaks English there." I was putting off the ONE thing I knew the Lord wanted me here for but I still told myself that I was going to just start next week. Why? It is a thing called fear. Something that I don't come in contact with much for some reason.
I woke up to the wet Guatemalan atmosphere, opened my Bible to 2 Corinthians 5:7 (Walk by faith, not by appearance.) I laughed. I knew exactly what He was doing. I then opened Streams in the Desert, to today's lesson. Just God being God, what do you think happened? Same verse but hit me even harder with this: "By faith, not appearance; God never wants us to look at our feelings. Self may want us to: and Satan may want us to. But God wants us to face the facts, not the feelings; the facts of Christ and of His finished and perfect work for us.When we face these precious facts and believe them because God says they are facts, God will take care of our feelings." A translation of this was "Shelby, get up, go and do likewise, no questions asked."
So Fear and I got ready for the day, listened to Sailboat by Ben Rector on repeat, and left my little blue house. Fear made sure not to leave my side all 6 blocks regardless of the fact that Prayer was walking on the other side of me. I get to the streets of Heaven color building in the picture above, sat on the sidewalk across the street and propped my kicks right on up like I wasn't going to move any time soon and neither was my sidekick, Fear. The prayers got desperate and I was reminded of Matthew 14 when Peter said "Jesus, if it is you, tell me then to come to you on the water." Jesus basically said "Bring it, Peter!" Peter walked on water just as Jesus had done. Peter then started to notice the waves that were bigger than him and the wind that was stronger than him and began to sink. Jesus reached out His hand and saved Peter. Why did Jesus allow him to start sinking? Because the second we take our eyes off Jesus is the second that the fear of failure starts to take over. With my kicks still propped, I saw the street as my water. (Remember that the name of the hospital is Hermano Pedro which means, "Brother Peter" in spanish. Yeah, He has such a sense of humor, right?) I gave Jesus a challenge similar to Peter's. "Jesus, if it is you, get me off this sidewalk and let me leave Fear behind and walk for with confidence."
You can guess the rest. I walked in to see a multitude of sick, malnourished locals. I was reminded that I AM needed regardless of my feelings. I walked into the volunteer office to be greeted with a "Hello"... a sweet girl that had broken but just enough english as I have spanish. I was reminded how little my faith is and how much He cares for me. As I walked out of the hospital to retrieve the things they needed from me (passport, two pictures and documents), I began to weep. Like a baby. Joyaus tears though, y'all. All the way home, all the way back to town and most of the day. He is so faithful, friends.
After walking on water and 4 miles to get all I needed oh and crying a river... what was once a pair of pearly white Guatemalan Converse, has now become my nasty, brown water shoes that I will continue to use to kick fear out of my way.
Walk on water today, friends. You can do it, just face the facts that He wants you and let go of the feeling the is holding you back.
so Joyaus,
Shel
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