homeless

but I have a home. More than one. I have a home in McDonough, Georgia. I have a home at McDonough First Baptist Church. I have a home in the arms of my family, my friends. I have a home in Antigua, Guatemala. I have a home at Hermano Pedro Hospital. Yet, I still felt homeless…

December 13th, 2013, I walked in the house I have always called home, hugged the best mama, daddy, sister and brother in the world, walked into my room (still a mess) and jumped on my oh-so-comfy bed. Something was missing. I went to get some
Chick-fil-A, with the thought that clean, crushed ice I had been missing for 4 months would cure all. Nope. “I need to see my friends”. I had missed the ones that knew me best, friends that always made home, home. The ones that have encouraged me, prayed for me, loved on me and challenged me. Guess what, something was still missing, y’all. I went to Nashville to see all my college friends and cheer on the Rebs. Let me just tell you, I had a blast, the Rebs won but something was still missing. I thought it was Guatemala. Guatemala had become my home. “That’s it, Shel. You miss your Guaty fam. Your Guaty bed (hard as a rock). Your Guaty water filter. Your Guaty friends that you have done life with for 4 months. Your village. Your Guaty church home. Got it. Your new home.”

I could not find the words to explain my first few months in Guatemala, to anyone. I could not explain what I was feeling being “home”. I was overwhelmed by the attention that pur[SHOE]ing joy was receiving. Much to your surprise reader, the attention and praise terrified me. I knew I could not expect my family and friends to understand though. “Shelby, not everyone is called to do mission work in Antigua, Guatemala like you.” However, when the very ones that define “home” don’t understand you for once, it does not feel so much like home anymore. I was missing the ones that I loved and desperately wanted to see transformed by the love and salvation of Jesus Christ. I had lost access to the very people that I felt called to love on in Guatemala.

I felt homeless. Guilt knocked on my door, I let it in. “Shelby, you have the greatest family in the world. Your friends adore you. You are covered in love and encouragement. pur[SHOE]ing joy has more fans that you could ever imagine. You have more than 2,000 pair of shoes. You are home. You have clean water. You have a comfortable bed. You don’t have to worry about eating unclean food. You can drive. You have all these people that want to know every detail of your experience so far. You have a church home that supports you in big ways. You don’t have to think about how to say every word. Everything is in English. Your shower does more than just a trickle. You don’t have to hear dogs barking and fireworks constantly going off in the middle of the night. You don’t have to constantly worry about safety. How could you be so selfish to think something is missing?”

Once again, I had it all wrong. I was acting as if returning to Guatemala would be the cure-all until a morning pur[SHOE]ing joy meeting with my teammate Ty New. “Shelby, I know the Lord has us working for Guatemala but I think we are slowly realizing how much work is to be done here in the States.” That simple statement meant so much more for me. It stopped me in my tracks. No it did not erase the “homeless” feeling but it gave it a whole new meaning. Edward Sharpe sums it up well when he sings, “Home is wherever I’m with you.” Home is when I’m with with my Savior, Jesus Christ. Home is just a house unless I invite Jesus in. Just think about it, a church is just a building unless the Lord is present. My whole perspective changed. Home was no longer a place. Home was not McDonough, Georgia and home was not Guatemala. Home was not family or friends. Home was not a clean water or water from my Guaty filter. Home was not the kids at work who I love and adore. Home can be in ALL of those things if only I allow Jesus to be present. The Lord had me home in McDonough, Georgia to be built up, re-energized, loved on by my family, collect and pack shoes, for interviews, have qt with friends, to share my story regardless of who gets it. I found joy and hope in the fact that the Lord DOES understand this battle.

Friends, He hurts when you hurt. He is knocking at your door, are you going to invite Him in? Martha invited Him in (Luke 10:38-42). Home is wherever you are, with Him.

Before I go on let me clarify. My time back home great INCREDIBLE once I invited Him in. My family gave me unconditional love. My friends asked for every detail possible. pur[SHOE]ing joy became a 501c3, non-profit organization. We received more encouragement and support than we could ever imagine. We packed up over 2,000 pair of shoes. We had our first article published. My trip to Memphis and Nashville was so needed (Hotty Toddy)! I set up two of my best friends. Our high-school 5th year reunion was so successful. I applied to nursing school. So thank y’all, from the bottom of my heart. I am truly humbled.

Are you ready for a laugh? Well first, remember that blog post about me thinking that I have learned my lesson so I don’t think it needs to be taught again? I get to Guatemala, clearly still had an ounce of hope that I was returning “home” because I had missed everything about it. Wrong again, friends. Things have been so different this go-round. Not different in a bad way though. I have been busy applying to more nursing schools and trying to figure out how one is supposed to physically deliver an application in Atlanta, Georgia when I am in another world. Ty and I came for a week to film a pur[SHOE]ing joy video (coming soon and we are so pumped). Went back home for a few meetings. Back here to have the sweetest, Adria King come to visit. That week probably needs its own blog post. THAT GIRL. She gets it. She is young but so wise. This was my first time showing someone the life that I am living here and it was so fun to watch the Lord work though Adria. He taught her things while here that I hadn’t yet experience. Back home I went to turn in my final nursing application, take a nursing test, have another interview for pur[SHOE]ing joy, and go to MY BEST FRIENDS WEDDING. What a cool experience to stand beside her and watch those two say “I do” in such a God-centered way. Can you say power couple. Did somebody yell “power-couple”? Back to my Guaty home to have my best, Mallory visit this time. Again, so cool to share this third-world life with her for a week. The girl contributed to the economy like no other, picked up her first duck and bonded with the village kids in ways I had never seen. I am here to stay for quite a while and I love it. Remember when I first got here, I mentioned that I googled Christians in Antigua? Yeah, well, He keeps showing off because I now have a weekly Bible Study with incredible girls, all from America. Funny how he works, right? He is so faithful, y’all! Oh but wait, while Mal was here, I learned that some of my kids at the hospital have Hepatitis so they are quarantined for 40 days. 40 days without work and my precious kids. And don’t think I didn’t try to think of ways to sneak in, thinking I am invincible and won’t get sick. I may or may not have gone to work to beg them to let me come in. It is killing me but then He reminds me “Hermano Pedro Hospital is not your home, Shel. Home is where I am, and that is not where we are right now.” Of course, His timing is unlike another and the shoes will be here any day now. Things are picking up which means pur[SHOE]ing joy needs more of my time and energy. I cannot wait for y’all to see all this is coming for pur[SHOE]ing joy.

Sorry for the all-over-the-place-organized-chaos but I guess y’all are used to it from me by now. Thanks for reading, loving, encouraging, supporting, praying, and giving. I promise I am back to blogging now.

[Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me. Rev. 3:20] 

Your King is knocking. He wants in. He wants to make your house a home. You better run! We will never be homeless, friends! Now THAT is something to celebrate! 

Joy because I have a home,
Shel