A while back, a family from Ohio moved to a near village to start a home for special needs kids. They have five biological children, five adopted children and five special needs kids from here that they have taken in. They have an incredible ministry. Talk about a power couple! One of their biological children, Carissa comes to the hospital once a week on her day off from helping at their home. Last week when we were getting to know each other, she learned that I graduated with a Dietetics and Nutrition major in college. I have never given my major much considering besides knowing it would help with nursing school in the future. But here, they think it is the greatest thing on earth considering the amount of malnourished people in this country. I was oblivious to the fact that He was leading me down a path where I would use my major on a daily basis. Carissa emailed me the next day asking if I would come look at their latest 5-month old addition as she was severely malnourished. I said yes but really hesitant because I felt like I had forgotten everything I learned in college. I immediately opened my old textbooks to prepare for Wednesday. Thankfully, the knowledge hadn't escaped me as much as I thought. However, I was still asking myself "What in the world is this family doing asking ME for a nutrition opinion, I am not equipped to do this am I?" Finally I just let it go and told myself that it was a malnourished child, it is a fixable problem. Carissa came into town early Wednesday morning to pick me up. After about a 30 minute ride to their village, we arrived at their home to the organized chaos of too many kids to count. The mom started sharing about their home, their ministry and how the Lord has graciously provided for them. Then I met Esperanza...
When I say I have never in my life, I have NEVER in my life seen what I saw that day. Who knows how far my jaw dropped but I quickly had to pull it together. I had to be the strong one. You cannot break down in those moments. So I started asking questions while panicking on the inside.

After a while, the mom and I started talking. She said one day she wants to contact every doctor she knows and beg them to give her surgery, and spend thousands on medicine and medical attention knowing that Esperanza will never live a life close to normal or comfortable. Then the next day, she feels like the Lord is going to take her any day so they just need to hug her to Heaven and keep her comfortable until then, being thankful for the time they do have with her. The more I sat there, the more this became the exact battle in my head. I still don't know. I still don't have the answer. I was so frustrated but knew I could not show those emotions to a mom that knows that battle far better than I ever will. After the longest four hours of my life, Carissa dropped me off at home. I still couldn't believe what I had just left. I got in my house, sat on the couch thinking I was fine one minute and broke down the next. I lost all control. Tears flowing like crazy. I didn't want to call anyone because I didn't want to show anyone the picture. I did not want them to have to see it to be honest. I knew that no one would know what to say or how to help. I just sat there and cried for about an hour when Kenzie FaceTimed me. I explained it the best I could. The only thing we knew to do was pray for Esperanza and her new family. We both cried. We asked God why. Neither of us understood. I don't know that we ever will but what I do know is that His reasoning is too big for my little brain to understand. While I know that the Lord is FULLY capable of performing a miracle for little Esperanza, I also know that He is FULLY capable of bringing her home to be with Him.

I so wish I could share a full picture of sweet Esperanza but the family has asked that I not, which I respect. Even though you cannot exactly picture her, know that she needs your prayers. I have no doubt that the Lord has a plan for Esperanza. I have no doubt that Esperanza changed my life and that even her story will change yours. I cannot describe how hard it was knowing I couldn't take her pain away or how hard it was telling her new family that there was nothing else I could do. At times, I feel like I let them down but I am clinging the One that knows the answers, the One who made her and the One that knows what He is doing with her. Let's lift up Esperanza and her precious family!
"Rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer."-Romans 12:12
I rejoice in "hope", I rejoice in Esperanza. I rejoice in the fact that He died to give Esperanza the most perfect life one day in Heaven. I rejoice in the fact that I get to spend eternity with Esperanza one day. I will persevere through this because of these promises. Will you rejoice with me? Let's preserve and be devoted to praying for sweet Esperanza.
"Consider is ALL JOY, my brethren, when you encounter various trials."- James 1:2
As hard as it is to find joy through this, it is a must. The second that we lose sight of the Creator is the second that we lose joy.
"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you may have tribulations, but take heart; I have overcome the world."- John 16:33
Friends, let's take heart in the fact that when He overcame the world, He overcame our biggest sins, our biggest sickness, and our biggest trials. This means that He even overcame cloverleaf syndrome. He overcame every bit of Esperanza's pain. Because of these things, let's have peace.
Joy because He overcame,
SA
Esperanza and her family are in my prayers. Shel, as for peace and know that Jesus is in control. We love you.
ReplyDeleteI am praying for Esperanza right now. You are doing good there! Let God lead, he will give you the knowledge you need for any situation, when you need it!
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